Improve Leadership With Personal Development

What makes a great leader? Leadership capacity is directly linked to the level of self awareness embodied by the leader. While visiting a consultant friend recently, he shared a model he developed and delivers to senior engineering executives which demonstrates this point. Knowing their purpose, passion and what brings meaning into their life has a direct impact on how credibly leaders are viewed by their employees (or followers) and peers. When they express themselves authentically there is a congruency between what they say, what they do and what they stand behind. Consequently people are much more likely to rally around them.


The following week I was gifted with a book on leadership, entitled “Who You Are is How Your Lead” written by Gail Gibson, founding faculty member of the, Certified Executive Coach Program and Masters in Leadership Program at Royal Roads. In the book Gibson presents a model which identifies awareness, choice and personal responsibility as attributes of Conscious Leadership, and these attributes are supported by trust and courage. The results are growing people and effective organizations.

As I’m reading my head is nodding affirmatively, each point she make resonates so deeply with the messages I’ve been sharing. For example “Being conscious means being fully aware, and personally responsible for the impact you have on the world as well as being able to effectively manage the impact the world has on you.”

The term Conscious Leadership coined by Lance Secretan another leadership expert and author, is further explained in his foreword to Gibson’s book, “We are one, and the world would be a better place if we loved each other,,, Simply put, our notions of separateness are no longer appropriate in the conditions now facing humanity and our planet. As leaders we inspire when we awake to the principles of oneness.

When I pollute my backyard, I pollute the world. When I inspire just one person I brighten the world… When I teach a noble lesson I add to the progress of humanity. When I inflate my departmental budget, I constrain someone else’s… Whatever I think, feel, say or do changes the world.”

Does this sound like metaphysics to you? Secretan suggests it could be, and it can also be viewed as pragmatic description of reality.

I was fortunate to learn these principles several years ago, and in my own career path found self awareness and self-responsibility to be most helpful in navigating the leadership territories I’ve encountered. Being ‘leaderful’ or taking responsibility rather than waiting until I had my Director’s attention and guidance, was fundamental in quickly moving up the ladder when I worked in a large educational institution. Taking the time to consider how he would view the situation and determine what was best for everyone concerned earned me his and my colleague’s respect. Being attuned to others motivations also helped me to encourage and engage the people who worked along with me and to mitigate potentially conflicted situations.

At the time I didn’t talk much about how I learned to empathize with others to determine what their motivations were. As a student of metaphysics I had learned to heal and read people’s energetic fields (auras). I figured people would think I was a bit of a flake.

Now when I hear and read about how the principles of personal development are fundamental to becoming inspiring, conscious, authentic leaders, it all sounds very familiar!

So as we all awaken and become more self actualized we need people who are equally attuned to lead us. As a coach I meet many who have left the corporate sector and are healing themselves after having worked within the old model of command and control leadership.

If you are on the leadership track, and would like to become better at engaging others or simply want to manage yourself in a more effective and leaderful way its imperative you get to know yourself better. It’s not about maneuvering people to do what you want, it’s about knowing yourself deeply to express yourself authentically, be highly self responsible, respond with integrity to the best of your ability and be INSPIRING. This is what fuels motivation.

Quote:

” Leaders must know themselves thoroughly before the can hope to lead others:. Warren Bennis, Institute of Noetic Sciences

Who Needs Personal Development at Work?

While trends in the past few years have advocated bringing your whole self to work, the prevailing culture in many industries still expects employees to leave their personal stuff at the door and stick to business when on the job. It seems the move toward openness has been brushed off the side of the desk in favor of leaner operations with the current economy. This kind of ‘fluff’ just doesn’t impact the bottom line that much. Or does it?


How much productivity is impeded by workplace conflict and resistance to change? Adapting to changes in the marketplace requires innovation and creativity. Typically the mantra of go to work, keep your head down, get the job done and go home does not inspire much innovation or creativity.
Read more about Creativity in the Workplace

I started on the personal development track over twenty years ago when I realized the future I had envisioned wasn’t being offered to me. Rather than blaming my upbringing or being victim to economic factors, I needed to take responsibility for improving my life. Beyond upgrading my education it was evident my self-concepts were not serving me well. Extremely afraid of being judged, when someone in authority asked to speak with me the fear of being in trouble froze me on the spot. In developing self awareness I began to see how past conditioning affected everything I heard, felt and saw. Imagine my relief when the boss was simply asking if I could contribute to a project proposal. I would have been even more enthusiastic and spontaneously creative without the fear of saying or doing something wrong.

With self-awareness, I became aware when others were stuck in their own stuff. Consequently, if someone I was working with was being demanding it didn’t serve me to get defensive or resistant. Instead I would be curious about what was driving their behavior, empathize and offer solutions where appropriate. Whatever they were dealing with wasn’t about me at all.

Working with business owners for 10 years I have noticed that those who choose self employment to avoid conflicts with authority in traditional work settings often made a big mistake. Rather than freeing themselves from conflict by starting their own business, they were setting themselves up for failure. When you run your own business it is imperative to have impeccable respectful relationships with everyone: your customers, your employees and most importantly new prospects.

Being present to what others are dealing with personally, develops rapport, strengthens relationships and makes it easier to collaborate when the need arises. There have been countless times when listening to my colleague’s personal challenges has strengthened the bonds of trust between us. They are infinitely more willing to respond to a request from me because they know I genuinely care about them.

In retrospect it is apparent that Personal Development: self awareness, taking 100% responsibility for how I respond, and being able to respond to situations with the best of my ability has served my career path very well. I leveraged a two year diploma program in media resources and 10 years of production coordination experience into a Program Coordinator position in a well respected educational institution without any further academic education. My personal (spiritual) development and coach training gave me the skills to become a business coach. My commitment to personal development has allowed me to experience a great deal of joy and happiness in my work and a rewarding path for my business.

So who needs personal development in the workplace? We all do: for advancement and to adapt to changing times. Whether your take it upon yourself to get it as I did or engage in programs your workplace provides it is a worthwhile investment.

Imagine what our businesses and workplaces would be like if everyone was self aware, 100% responsible, and responding to the needs of the moment with the best of their ability; I’d want to work there, wouldn’t you?

Lynne Brisdon
Professional Certified Coach
http://www.livinginvision.com/
http://www.workeasy4lifebalance.com/


Quote: George Kneller: To think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted.

Why bother with Personal Development?

It seems there are two predominant views on the area of Personal Development. One is from the initiated, who are committed to improving themselves and the other is from those who view it as fluff with no real relevance. The latter views the initiate as being on some quest for self improvement which is never fulfilled; they seem to be driven by some sense of being flawed. While those who see it as fluff are seen by initiates to be unaware and stuck in their thinking.


So what are the real benefits of doing personal development work? The initiates will tell you they are much happier and more content with their lives. How do they get there?

Why Self Improvement gets a bad rap
Completing your education or getting credentials for career advancement is always a good investment. And, certainly there is wisdom and humility in recognizing we don't know it all and can always learn something new. But where Self Improvement gets judged is when there is a constant quest for needing to fix oneself that is never quite satisfied. This usually comes from having an internal message of not being good enough and being broken in some way. This is the case for the person who gets stuck in the self improvement cycle. What they really need is to uncover their underlying beliefs and take a whole new approach to personal development.

What is Personal Development?
It can be broken down into three simple aspects:

1. Being self-aware

2. Taking 100% responsibility for everything that is occurring in your life

3. Being resourceful and responding appropriately to a given situation.

Being self-aware is the ability to be aware of your thinking, feelings and actions. Being aware of thinking is noticing that you are thinking and what your internal conversations are. These one-sided conversations are going on constantly. Feelings are physical sensations which occur in your body and they contain information, about what is working or not working for you. It’s a challenge for most people to be totally aware of these feelings. We've done an excellent job of suppressing the gentle and persistent messages telling us all is not well. Regardless, our actions are in response to our thinking and feelings. If you are not feeling calm and well grounded, nor thinking clearly your reactions could likely impact others negatively.

Taking 100% responsibility for everything in your life, requires self-awareness. Taking responsibility means you are no longer a victim who blames others for what is occurring. Standing in your own power, you fully accept your choice for what occurs in life. Currently, I am only carrying a partial client coaching load. I could blame the down turn in the economy or how my part-time Business Coaching job keeps me from seeking and retaining new clients. In taking 100% responsibility, I recognize the truth is I have also chosen to complete a business counsellor certification, contribute to my business and coaching community and attend to family matters.

Being resourceful is being able to respond to situations rather than reacting to them. From a centered and calm place you are able to respond appropriately to the given situation. Given my reduced income, I could be reacting and worrying about finances and undertake a flurry of activity to rebuild clientele. Instead I choose to keep my focus on being fully present with the people I meet and connect with them in a meaningful way. I can trust myself to show up authentically and attract people who are seeking my services, rather than mold myself into something I think they are looking for. With this focus it is easier for me to hear what is going on for people and genuinely offer new possibilities or solutions.



Fixing versus Growing
You could look at Self Improvement as fixing what you don’t like about yourself. This perspective assumes that there is something in you that is broken. It is a perspective that comes from a place of being critical and judgemental. The primary judgement is: the way you are is not good enough. Often the question is not about being good enough, but with feeling unhappy or generally dissatisfied. If you ask yourself, “Am I feeling the way I want to feel?” and the answer is NO, then you may want to engage in self-discovery through personal development.

A more useful perspective is to come from a place of inspired growth instead of needing fixing. This involves setting an intention for how you would like to be as life unfolds and how you would like to feel.

My intention is to live enthusiastically, joyfully experiencing vitality, ease, wonder and meaningful connection with others. Spiritually present.

Life is an adventure and I undertake growth in a way that’s feels fun and do it with a sense of vibrancy. There is nothing wrong with me. However, by continuing to grow I have an opportunity to thrive and live the life I fully desire.

What is your intention for the life you desire?

Wishing you an inspired life! 

Lynne Brisdon, PCC, and Jacque Small, CEC
(collaborative authors of this monthly newsletter)

"And the day came when the risk of remaining tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "Anais Nin

Have Emotional Hot Buttons Stopped You from Taking Vacation?

This article appeared in the August Living In Vision Newsletter. I'm actually taking my vacation in October though - timing it to visit a planetary power spot on 10-10-10.

***

In August almost everything shuts down for most of us to take a vacation. How many of you are feeling guilty and anxious about taking time away from your work or business?

In his book “The Diamond Cutter” Geshe Michael Roche, states we should keep our minds and bodies in good health to enjoy the money we make. Subtitled, ‘The Bhudda on Managing Your Business and Your Life’ Roche advocates taking silent time each day to clear the mind of mental afflictions and to step away from the work cycle each year for self reflection and rejuvenation.

When I had a full-time job, much as I looked forward to the ‘escape’ each vacation offered, I worried beforehand knowing there would be a pile of work to come back to and worked doubly hard before I left to minimize this. Now that I’m self employed I worry about missed opportunities, as well as work piling up in my absence.

What happens if we avoid taking a vacation due to the nagging voices of doubt and concern? What happens if we pretend we are taking a vacation and take our laptop or Blackberry (I-phone) along?

“Skipping vacations could actually be dangerous to your health," according to Brooks Gump, Ph.D., co-author of a State University of New York at Oswego study.

The study found that men who take vacations every year reduce their overall risk of death by about 20 percent, and their risk of death from heart disease by as much as 30 percent. A similar study discovered that women who vacation at least twice a year have 50% less chance of developing coronary heart disease or any other serious heart problems. Those who took no vacations had the highest death rate overall.

"Vacations have a protective effect because they help you reduce your load of stress, or at least allow you to take a break from the everyday stressors of the workplace,"*

Even with evidence to support taking vacations many tend to avoid them or work while on vacation. The rationalization being that if they keep working they won’t be so overwhelmed later or miss business opportunities. Hoping to rejuvenate by taking a few days here and there, doesn’t do the trick. Those who attempt this actually end up catching up on errands; they are not taking the necessary 5 – 7 days to unwind. Two full weeks is recommended for optimal health benefits.

If you have been avoiding making plans for this year’s vacation we invite you to look beyond the mental chatter that says, ‘I don’t have time, don’t have enough money, it will be too expensive, I’ll be passed over for promotions, my business will collapse, there is no one to cover for me; generally – something bad will happen if I go away’. These thoughts are a product of your emotional hot buttons and they are getting in the way of your health and well being.

And if that’s not enough to change your mind consider this. A recent study showed that for every dollar of vacation benefits provided to employees, companies receive a $3 return on the benefit investment in the form of improved employee productivity and morale.*

So go ahead and plan a guilt free vacation you deserve it. Leave your electronic devices at home or turn them off except for emergency situations like booking tickets to a fun event in some far away place. If the idea of this causes a knot in your stomach, a pain in your chest or hands begin to sweat, give me a call to remove your hot buttons so you can take some time away to pause, rejuvenate, reflect, and dream up whatever is next for you. That is assuming you call when I am at work, because I can't hear my phone when I am riding my motorcycle.

*Workopolis


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."
Maria Robinson

Emotional Hot Buttons and Business Finances

An area that perpetually pushes buttons in business is finances. Whether you are a micro-enterprise owner or hold a position in a large company, the decisions you have to make about finance can cause huge emotional reactions. Money is a hot topic for most of us and our conditioning around it impacts how we view it and the results we get.

Working as much as I do with small business business owners, I see many struggle with business finances. We joke about the emotional roller coaster of starting a business and we know it’s based on what many experience.

In the process of writing a business plan, most people are overwhelmed by financial forecasting. When asked to fill in spreadsheets they go completely blank from the fear of having to focus on money. Many people believe they ‘can’t do numbers’ and experience intense anxiety in the budgeting process. Fortunately I can help them resolve their conditioning and anxiety, and they are able to complete their financial forecast.

Once the business is operating peoples’ spending habits come into play. Many are loathe to spend money to properly promote their business. These are people who have been conditioned to be very cautious with money and are afraid there will not be enough money to survive. Even when they are consistently shown it requires a financial investment to properly launch and promote their business, they become  overwhelmed and fearful and attempt to ‘bootstrap’ as much as possible.  Business opportunities are typically lost because not enough of their target market knows they exist.

There may be considerable worry and second guessing around making financial decisions. The question “Am I doing the right thing?” constantly presents itself. Doubt and internal conflict take up a lot of energy and result in a lack of clarity. We end up vacillating, experiencing stress and business progress often slows.

Another occurance with start-up companies is establishing sales volumes for a new product or service. I vividly remember a client having a very difficult time talking confidently about his business when he was networking because he didn’t have a contract at the time. He was attaching his confidence and measuring the quality of his work on whether or not someone was paying him for his service. This was a very talented man who had been employed as a writer for years and had a very strong portfolio. His own judgment stemming from the current lack of revenue was completely obliterating ownership of his highly marketable talent. Once his emotional hot button, called judgment, was removed his business started to flourish as he had more confidence in himself.

Business growth can create a lot of emotional turmoil as well. How many of you find yourselves highly overworked? Business owners are pulled in many directions tending to the myriad of roles required to maintain momentum in their operations. The company is ready for growth but the owner is very reluctant to hire others to help out. They worry about the expense of hiring staff and often are afraid to let go of control. So they stay stuck not being able to work any harder, or longer and their revenues don’t grow. When we remove the emotional hot buttons that contribute to doubt, worry and anxiety, owners are able to move forward with confidence and make the right decisions to support the growth of the company.

Business growth may also require outside financing. This can really push buttons for people. What if projected revenues don’t materialize? What if they can’t repay their loans? What will happen if….? All this doubt and insecurity are a waste of energy and keep us stuck, going no where.

Often when business owners feel stuck they consider seeking advice from business experts who they hope will be able to steer them in the right direction. Experts provide a detached perspective; they are not emotionally hooked into how you are making decisions about money, or how you are equating you business success with your self worth. What would be possible if you could resolve some of your emotional hot buttons that are creating worry, anxiety and doubt?

Wishing you more ease and grace with business finance decisions and roller coaster rides at the amusement park.

Sharing Lif'e's Adventures

Lynne Brisdon, PCC
http://www.livinginvision.com/

Improving Sale Effectiveness

• How many of you are great at sales?
• How easy is it for you to call and make appointments with prospective clients?
• Have you ever found it difficult to ask for what you want to be paid?
• What are the stories going through your head that get in the way of being better at sales?

This month Jacque Small and I collaborated with Gavin Mills, from Sales Partners, for this article and he was also our guest on Catalyst LIVE!, June 2.

Struggling With Sales Calls
I have perpetually avoided picking up the phone to call people for anything remotely related to sales. And, many of the entrepreneurs I work with are faced with the same challenges. When it comes to calling people about business this little voice goes off in my head: “What will I say? Why would this person want to do business with me? They have probably already hired someone else. What do I possibly have to offer that is better than what others are doing?

Do any of these questions sound familiar?

Another problem you may be having with sales is with asking for what you are worth? How uncomfortable are you with asking for your full price? Have you given yourself a raise in the last 2 years? We can make up all sorts of stories to justify not asking for more money. The economy is in a down turn and business can’t afford it. My price is already all the market will bear; people won’t pay any more for my service. If I ask for too much money, I won’t get the work. I couldn’t charge that, that is way too much money! Notwithstanding, many clients have used my services and had life changing results that are priceless Undervaluing our service is another place where our minds take us out of the game.

Where the Stories Come From
These questions and negative self-talk form part of the nervous chatter that goes on in our head; what Sales Partners affectionately refer to as our Little Voice. In a situation where fear pops up, our brain goes into a self protection mode and our Ego starts to make up a story. The Ego is extremely good at manufacturing interpretations to remove us from the fearful situation. If the story my Ego makes up is strong enough I won’t pick up the phone nor will I ask for more money.

Sales Partners has perfected the Little Voice Management System and other sales training & mentoring techniques to assist you to manage these situations.

Where does the Little Voice come from? How did it get there? Why can’t we just move it out of the way when we need to? It’s because of our conditioning.

Conditioning comes from all the charged emotional memories we have stored up from the countless events and circumstances in our lives. We don’t remember these events on a daily basis, and don’t think about them much at all, until something pushes our buttons. Then the memory is triggered and causes a reaction. The stronger the emotional charge from the original memory, the stronger the reaction in the current situation.

And what happens to our intelligence when emotions go up? Typically intelligence drops, considerably.

Overcoming the Little Voice
Let’s look at the example above of not picking up the phone to make a sales call. Ask yourself if you have ever been rejected. If you answered No, you’re probably lying! Let’s face it – who hasn’t experienced rejection at some point? So when you go to pick up the phone, and you’ve been rejected in the past, the memory of that rejection suddenly pops into your conscious mind and your Little Voice starts sabotaging your thoughts by telling you that this call you’re about to make is High Risk and chances are you’ll get rejected again….!

So what do you do? Some of you won’t even make the call, some of you will make the call with the Fear of rejection in mind – and guess what happens next – yep you get rejected again, and some of you will make the call and have managed that fear in the process. Those of us in this last group, whether we realise it or not, have conditioned ourselves to be able to face the fear and manage the Little Voice so that we can move forward, make the call and get the success we so richly deserve. The rest of us are conditioned to the point of either not making the call or getting rejected and taking it personally.

So why not learn the tools to be able to manage your Little Voice in every situation so that you can make the best decisions, lower your emotions and raise your intelligence so that ultimately you will get the results you really want and be who you really want to be, without any more effort whatsoever.

Little Voice Management Systems are vital in the moment to overcome what your Little Voice is saying and propel you into action. Make the call and ask for more money.

For those people who find this a persistent problem there is a longer term solution that will quiet the Little Voice permanently or have it be just a quiet whisper. This is achieved by removing the emotional hot button causing the Little Voice to scream, “You are in danger of being rejected.” The great news is that Tom Stone at Great Life Technologies has perfected a technique to allow us to dissolve the emotional hot button and eliminate the emotional reactions.
When we eliminate the emotional reactions we don’t have to do nearly as much Little Voice Management and we can put the rest of the sales techniques Gavin teaches us into more effective use, faster.

Wishing you greater sales success;

Lynne Brisdon, Jacque Small and Gavin Mills

Register for the next Emotional Hot Button Removal Workshop

Stop Politics and Back-Stabbing at Work

A recent comment stated; "There are days when I hear my friends' stories of corporate politics and back-stabbing.... I wonder... why do people have to play that way?"

Have you encountered conflict, politics and back-stabbing, in your business or workplace?
Continuing our theme on Effective Meetings, we explore this common occurance and share solutions.

What's Wrong with Politics?
For our purposes let's define politics as the act of being committed to and going for a goal. The potential for conflict arises when people are pursuing different goals, such as: a different vision and strategy for where the company or group should be headed; different goals competing for the same resources. Or when people are competing for promotions, money and recognition within or outside of the organization.

Having diverse viewpoints is only natural, so why does 'politics' get labelled as bad? This stems predominantly from the level of attachment to perspectives or agendas and because many of us are poor communicators. Those with dominating personality styles tend to communicate their ideas forcefully and those who are more reserved sit back and listen and share their points of view cautiously.
Problems typically arise when a couple of dominant people in a meeting have opposing goals and charged emotions. They may also have poor communication skills and are not really hearing what the other person has to say and speaking before others have finished speaking. (You probably have other examples to add). We see and hear the behaviour of the speakers, but we don't know what emotional buttons are being pushed on the inside, in both the dominant speakers and the more reserved people. Now we have conflict in the room.

How Effective Are Your Meetings?
Take our Meeting Survey and find out.

Characters in the example above are exhibiting behaviours from points #5 and #10 in the Effective Meeting Survey.
#5 One or two members dominate the meeting.
#10 People start to disagree with others before they really understand what's being said.

At this point there are likely a whole variety of emotional reactions taking place. The speakers may have become frustrated and angry in their heated debate. If they are passionate about their opposing goals they are likely trying to force an outcome and are ignoring each other's perspectives. Others in the room may be feeling anxiety with the tone of the conversation, which causes them to shut down and withhold their perspectives for fear of being rejected. It is safer not to enter into the turmoil and to keep quiet. The meeting continues and often no clear outcome is achieved. At best the topic is tabled for further research and discussion.

How Can You Stop Back-Stabbing?
Our scenario sets up a ripe field for the negative aspects of 'politics' as identified in the meeting effectiveness survey:

#11 Following meetings, post-mortems are held behind closed doors about what really went on.
#18 There is seldom any checking to see whether the group has gone off track, or if the meeting was an effective use of time.

Let's consider for a moment what the range of emotions might be among the group. One of the speakers might be feeling some triumph and eagerness, others frustration and exasperation and still others relief that the uneasiness and tension within the meeting is over.

Where is the post-mortem of the meeting held? Likely the meeting review is conducted in the hallways, the bathroom and at coffee. This is where the real conversation takes place. Opponents start to line up their supporters for the next round and say less than impeccable things about the other speaker and their goal. This can spiral into a contagious negative environment that no one really wants to be a part of, but can't figure out why it exists. As stated in a recent comment I came across; "There are days when I hear my friends' stories of corporate politics and back-stabbing.... I wonder... why do people have to play that way?"

Change  The Game
There are a couple of ways to change the game. They include improving meeting structure and changing your personal game.

Tips for Improving Meeting Structure
1. Determine a clear objective for the meeting?
2. As the chair learn to manage the group's communication more effectively?
3. At the end of every meeting do a check in to find out what went well and what could be improved.
4. Create space for everyone to speak their truth.

Shifting how you Manage Yourself
Many of my clients have left the corporate world, because of the conflicted environments they worked in. Some even experienced stress related health problems. They soon realize though, opting to start their own business requires excellent communication and relationship building skills. We often focus on strategies for respectuful communication and increased positivity in relationships.
· Be quiet: listen to other's ideas completely before speaking.
· Ask questions to gain further insight
· Take time out when emotionally upset,
later share only your own feelings without blaming or judging
· Be impeccable: decline listening to gossip
· Speaking positively about others, validate their strenghs.

Some of the Hot Buttons we remove are:
· The need to be right
· Ignoring other people's perspectives
· Fear of not being accepted.
· Being judgemental of others.

Sign up for the next Emotional Hot Button Removal Workshop

You can read my colleague Jacque's Post-Corporate story at:
http://workeasy4lifebalance.com/rel/back-stabbing-at-work

Changing the negative aspects of politics in any work place requires the willingness to communicate positively and effectively, impeccability and being someone who appreciates and validates others.


Wishing you engaging, collaborative, synergistic meetings, and a healthy back!

Lynne Brisdon, PCC
Living In Vision Enterprises Inc.

Holding Effective Meetings

There are many challenges to face when leading a meeting and how you respond to these challenges will determine whether meetings are highly engaging and productive, or if they are tedious, spiral out of control and become very tense.


How Effective Are Your Meetings?

Being Prepared

Preparation and planning for facilitation of an effective meeting is the first step. You can find resources to guide this process in Masterful Meetings the 2005 newsletter series written by my colleague Jacque, which you can download here.


This new series of articles focuses on various external challenges arising in meetings and an assortment of internal challenges that can get in the way of managing meetings resourcefully.


How you present yourself as the meeting leader has a huge impact on the energy in the room and the quality of the meeting. Whoever leads the meeting holds the position of power in the room. The more resourceful you are in your role the easier it is for you to lead a meeting, and the more productive the meeting.


Take the Survey

We have included a link to a survey for you to evaluate your meeting effectiveness. Print the survey, complete it and then post your answers on line. Come back to check out how your team compares to other teams and notice where the biggest challenges are.

Printable Meeting Effectiveness Survey

Online Meeting Effectiveness Survey

Handling Distracting Behaviour

Sometimes people create distractions by showing up late, taking calls in meetings or missing meetings. Whats the best way to handle these situations? How do you respond?

The first thing to notice is how this affects you emotionally. Does this frustrate you or are you feeling something even more intense, like outrage? Often when we have these kinds of feelings our Ego manufactures a negative interpretation about the situation and we over-react. If this happens, it is unlikely you will respond in a resourceful way.


The best thing to do in the moment is take a deep breath and ask to speak privately with the person afterward. Your conversation can include some of the following questions:
· What is causing you to be late for meetings?
· What would it take for you to respect the team's agreed meeting time?


And if your team has a Code of Conduct or Team Charter:
· What is your understanding of the team code of conduct?
· What could bring you into alignment with the team code?

By having this type of conversation you are letting the person know that their behaviour is not working for the team at the same time as showing concern for them. Being curious about what is going on in their life let's them know you care about what's affecting their behaviour.

Here are guidelines for establishing a Code of Conduct or a Team Charter.


Managing Domineering Speakers

Another dynamic that shuts down meeting effectiveness is when a couple of people do all the talking whlle others remain quiet. Your role as the meeting leader is to engage everyone in the room to benefit from their knowledge.

Engaging people who don't normally contribute requires you to be really present to the conversation in the room and noticing who is, and who isn't talking. Then simply request the following from people who have not spoken:
· John, what could you add to this conversation?
· Sylvia, we would like to hear your thoughts.


After asking these questions, be quiet and don't let anyone else interrupt these people. John and Sylvia have been sitting on the sidelines listening, formulating their ideas, editing them and re-editing them. The quiet person tends to limit their self-expression due to concerns that their opinion is not important or it will not receive approval. For the patient listener these people usually have pearls of wisdom to share.

Managing people who dominate the room is a different challenge. Often, these are quick thinkers, expressive and have a tendency to exclude other's perspectives. There is a tendency to come from the place of "knowing the right answer" and then wanting to express it to receive approval from other participants.


As meeting leader you will likely have to be more direct to manage this and ask the person who is speaking to hold their thoughts so that others in the room can express theirs.


Once again, notice what is happening with your own emotions. If you are feeling apprehension or worry about managing the situation, then you may be over-reacting to the circumstances or making up a story about how someone will react when you ask them to create space for other's to speak.


Meetings create all sorts of opportunities for people's emotional reactions, including the leader's. Your challenge is to stay as centered as possible in the present moment and manage the flow of the conversation in the room. Breathing is a good strategy in the heat of the moment.

If your emotional buttons get pushed in meetings you may want to remove them, to make your role as leader much easier.

Register for the next Hot Button Removal Workshop

Stay Focused on Your Game Plan

To win any game including the game of business and life a game plan is vital. This article takes you through a process to set you up to win on a consistent basis.

The Game Plan was compiled by my colleague Jacque Small of Catalyst Business Coaching and we're sharing it with you because we believe that everyone can work easier

Download samples of the Playbook and Game Plan to follow along and create your own.

Master Your Game
It all starts with making a declaration what you are really committed to. I am committed to the game of being an internationally recognized coach and teacher. What’s your game?

In addition to a declaration, the Playbook for your game also includes:
• Intention: knowing how you want feel and the experiences you want to have.
• Vision: knowing where you want to go.
• Mission: what is most important to you about playing this game? What is the biggest reason that you want to achieve it?

Read on for the remaining components of an effective Playbook and for verbal insturctions and tips listen to  the March 3 Catalyst LIVE! radio show. Watch for the Focus on Your Game Plan archive to be posted on the  Catalyst Business Coaching site.

Choose which Games you are playing.
Experience has shown it’s really important to know which Games you want to be playing. Playing too many games results in being overwhelmed or not achieving desired results, and this increases stress. Being stressed is contrary to the objective of Working Easy 4 Life Balance, otherwise known as working with flow. This means have developing clarity and limiting the number of games you participate in.

Having a Game Plan
Your Goals, specific metrics for achievement and Milestones, are places along the way to check to see if you are on target. Establishing a plan for each Game is recommended. This includes a combination of specific goals and milestones used to measure progress and achievements along the way throughout the year. Each week a Milestone is set for each game you are playing. Choose what to focus on to support this game in moving forward.

Clear weekly objectives or Milestones. While checking progress against milestones each week assess whether or not the plan is working. If they’re getting completed, then carry on playing all your games. If there are consistent No’s then you need to determine what the barriers are.

Are you playing games that aren’t on the plan? Do you want add these games to the plan, or do you need to say NO more often? Do you need to cancel one of the games you are playing? Or perhaps, adjust your game to have less aggressive milestones to will allow for an experience of success on a weekly basis. If you are currently playing 4 games, you could perhaps choose to play only 3 per week. Or maybe you could do a better job by leveraging your games and play two at once.

Build energy with weekly practices.
Without energy life feels hard and the whole sense of balance seems to disappear. Like any athlete you need to practice building energy. Components of energy practice include: spiritual (quiet mind – no thinking), sleep, exercise, food and hydration. All of these components are vital to having an energetic body and focused mind that works at its optimum level of creativity.

Play the Game.
The Game for the Week lists all the actions you commit to taking in the week to achieve milestones. The key is to make actions small discrete activities that when put together accomplish milestones. Milestones without activities have no game in mind for achievement. Success for this milestone could occur through pure intention. Just don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t come to fruition.

Post Game Review.
This is the final step. How did the week go? Were you being who you wanted to be? Did you reach your milestones? What did you learn from playing this week’s game and where might you like to adjust your game for next week or the coming weeks?
At the end of the Post Game Review, celebrate and allocate rewards for achieving my milestones and then set your plan for next week. Jacque’s reward is setting aside money to buy new golf clubs to improve her golf game. I go outside to play on my bike, skis or motorcycle! How would you like to reward yourself?

Wishing you a Masterful Game,

Quote: Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. Alan Lakein, Author on Time Management

Milestones on the Journey to Vision

Now that you have defined your vision for the coming year, lets’ look at how to move toward it. We are going to cover establishing targets and overcoming hazards.

Setting Targets
Like rafting down a river, the path you take to your vision has a huge impact on your progress and achievement. Along the way there are many choices to make about how you will get to your destination. You could walk down the river bank chopping though bush or float down unguided and hope to reach your destination eventually or, you could navigate to find the swiftest and safest route and steer past obstacles. To do so, you need to check in periodically to see where the river of life is taking you and constantly coarse correct.

After defining a vision, most people convert it into measurable and specific long term goals. The problem is we do not have enough clarity and often these goals are not met, resulting in a series of disappointments. An alternative is milestones; or the stops we take along the river to realize our vision. Like overnight camping spots, milestones are where we celebrate success and get clarity about the next leg of the river and set the next appropriate milestone. We then establish short term goals to keep us focused and accountable for reaching the next milestone, and a safe and comfortable camping spot.

Hazards on the Journey
Rivers often have waterfalls and rapids that need to be navigated. Heavy rainfall changes the volume of water and the difficulty of the upcoming waterfall. It is advisable to stop at these points, observe the current and determine the best path. If our aim is true we can avoid dumping our boat and the dangers posed by the undertow below. We will have a safe and thrilling ride over the falls.

Like the river unexpected obstacles, twists and turns quickly come into view for any business. As we launch or grow a business we are fueled by the excitement of our vision. Enthusiasm gets us moving but we soon encounter several complex and challenging situations. How we personally manage ourselves through these obstacles impacts our results. If we knew what they were, we could avoid the pitfalls.

Preparing for the Hazard
While we can’t predict every obstacle, Joseph Campbell’s epic work on the Hero’s Journey sheds light on predictable internal experiences and how we can overcome them.

Once committed to the path toward our vision we will encounter trials, where we face our fears, and are confronted by the beliefs and attitudes that could stop us in our tracks. To continue on our path we must let go of these barriers. Like going over a waterfall, it’s scary and you don’t know how you will land. It is lonely and uncomfortable, and your sense of self may feel threatened. But, this is where your greatest personal transformation takes place.

As the hero on your journey, your success is contingent on overcoming these trials, through the surrender of old ways of being, and by reaching out to allies. Remember that you are not alone. Find the resources and people who can help you reach your destination. Collaborate with others who have complimentary skills and talents, talk to mentors or competitors who could become strategic alliances. Your allies can even help you navigate and avoid getting caught in a dangerous hydraulic at the bottom of the falls.

Stuck in a Hazard
As we progress down the river from one milestone to the next there are times when we get caught in a hazard. The tendency to paddle furiously to get unstuck expends a tremendous amount of energy and places you at risk. The better option is to sit quietly for a moment and tap into your intuition on how to proceed. Perhaps you need an ally or someone else to help you navigate the river to your next milestone.

Enjoy the Journey to Your Vision.
If you need a guide to help you chart the course contact Lynne Brisdon at Living in Vision

Emotional Hot Button Removal

Do you ever get concerned about… ?
· Getting angry and frustrated with your spouse?
· How much you yell at your kids?
· The amount of anxiety you feel?

Have you ever noticed that….?
· You are struggling at work?
· You are afraid to be alone?
· You have a lot of mental chatter?

Do you ever…?
· Worry about money?
· Feel like you are not good enough and afraid you are going to fail?
· Ignore your gut instincts and then wish you hadn’t?

Ever wonder why…?
· Other people do stupid things?
· Things just don’t go the way you expect them to?
· You don’t speak up for yourself?

All these are symptoms of our conditioning and the root of Common Problems. The good news is you are not stuck with them. There is a Revolutionary New Process, called Core Dymanics Coaching developed by Tom Stone, to free you from these emotional reactions.

Learning to use these techniques is your first step toward a new life that’s free from anxiety, frustration, struggle, and feeling alone.

Has anyone ever pushed your buttons? When we have emotional reactions like anger, frustration or anxiety, the  energy of emotional conditioning is activated. The ‘button’ gets pushed against a bunch of energy that’s stored up in our bodies. It's like the energy has been compressed and is ready to explode every time our buttons are pushed. 

In Emotional Hot Button Removal we will teach you the simple techniques that allow you to feel into the stored up energy and vaporize it. It is like deleting a virus off the hard drive of your computer. Or, getting to the roots of a problem, rather than developing a strategy to manage it.

With your Hot Buttons absent from your life you will:
-Always trust and act on your intuition
-Be calm and peaceful
-Live in the present moment, in the Now
-Be free of being judgmental about yourself and others
-Be free of emotional overwhelm
-Have access to deeper feelings of love, pleasure and enjoyment
-Have more confidence and self esteem
-Live in a state of unconditional love of yourself, others and all of life
-Live in tune with the flow of nature, "in the zone"
-Be able to fully express your unique talents and qualities
-Have more clarity about your purpose


In the past this has taken years of self reflection or analysis and it has seemed difficult if not impossible to change. We’ve even been encouraged to accept it’s just the way we are…

NOW, by removing your hot buttons you can have the same benefits as years of meditation in a fraction of the time

Testimonials

"Just thought you might like to know that the Core Technique exercise that you did with me the other night has really had a noticeable effect. How exciting!!

“I tried it again the next day and I felt sooo grounded. Even now I am more empowered at keeping the ego-mind/chatter at bay. Cool!
I am very excited to pursue personal coaching."K. Sharyk, Professional Musician


“I am happier and more at peace with my life. I make better decisions on and off the course, and have less brain chatter on the course.”J. Wyne, Professional Golfer

“Core Dynamics Coaching has put me in touch with my feelings in a very productive and positive way. I am more aware and calmer in difficult situations.”
L. Fenniak, Entrepreneur

Register for the next  Emotional Hot Button Removal Workshop

Want to attend our Webinars instead of the Workshop? Click here to Register

For more information on Emotional Hot Button Removal
contact:
Jacque 604-628-6642 or Lynne 604-570-0764.

OR Book Lynne & Jacque to deliver a talk or workshop for your group or organization.

Facilitators

“Emotional Hot Button Removal is led by Jacque Small of Catalyst Business Coaching and Lynne Brisdon of Living In Vision Enterprises. Both have trained directly with Tom Stone, founder of this work called Core Dynamics Coaching.

Jacque Small, Catalyst Business CoachingJacque@catalystcoach.ca 604 628-6642
Jacque’s intention as a professional coach over the past 7 years has been to work with leaders, business owners and managers to create inspiring work places where people love to work. She uses a direct, loving and humorous style to develop leader’s communication skills, achieve clarity and bring out their best talents. Jacque’s investment in her own development has led her to an amazing transition using Core Dynamic techniques. Inspired by the dramatic results of this work in her life she is introducing it to golfers, wellness professionals and anyone who wants to live an emotionally reaction free life. Living, working and golfing in the “Zone”.

Lynne Brisdon PCC, Living In Vision Enterprises Inc.
lynne@livinginvision.com 604 570-0764

or 360-383-8996

As a Professional Coach Lynne inspires others to embrace their innate abilities and essential purpose so they experience more joy and fulfillment in life. She encourages clients to overcome internal and external obstacles and specializes in working with highly intuitive and energetically sensitive people. She also connects entrepreneurs with their passion and calling to achieve business success. Building on Co-Active Coaching Certification (2001) she has constantly upgraded her skills to include: Organizational and Relationship Systems Coaching, Team Coaching and Core Dynamics Coaching. She also shares wisdom and transformational techniques as a Spiritual Healer and Teacher. She is dedicated to illuminating the path to your greatest future.