Why bother with Personal Development?

It seems there are two predominant views on the area of Personal Development. One is from the initiated, who are committed to improving themselves and the other is from those who view it as fluff with no real relevance. The latter views the initiate as being on some quest for self improvement which is never fulfilled; they seem to be driven by some sense of being flawed. While those who see it as fluff are seen by initiates to be unaware and stuck in their thinking.


So what are the real benefits of doing personal development work? The initiates will tell you they are much happier and more content with their lives. How do they get there?

Why Self Improvement gets a bad rap
Completing your education or getting credentials for career advancement is always a good investment. And, certainly there is wisdom and humility in recognizing we don't know it all and can always learn something new. But where Self Improvement gets judged is when there is a constant quest for needing to fix oneself that is never quite satisfied. This usually comes from having an internal message of not being good enough and being broken in some way. This is the case for the person who gets stuck in the self improvement cycle. What they really need is to uncover their underlying beliefs and take a whole new approach to personal development.

What is Personal Development?
It can be broken down into three simple aspects:

1. Being self-aware

2. Taking 100% responsibility for everything that is occurring in your life

3. Being resourceful and responding appropriately to a given situation.

Being self-aware is the ability to be aware of your thinking, feelings and actions. Being aware of thinking is noticing that you are thinking and what your internal conversations are. These one-sided conversations are going on constantly. Feelings are physical sensations which occur in your body and they contain information, about what is working or not working for you. It’s a challenge for most people to be totally aware of these feelings. We've done an excellent job of suppressing the gentle and persistent messages telling us all is not well. Regardless, our actions are in response to our thinking and feelings. If you are not feeling calm and well grounded, nor thinking clearly your reactions could likely impact others negatively.

Taking 100% responsibility for everything in your life, requires self-awareness. Taking responsibility means you are no longer a victim who blames others for what is occurring. Standing in your own power, you fully accept your choice for what occurs in life. Currently, I am only carrying a partial client coaching load. I could blame the down turn in the economy or how my part-time Business Coaching job keeps me from seeking and retaining new clients. In taking 100% responsibility, I recognize the truth is I have also chosen to complete a business counsellor certification, contribute to my business and coaching community and attend to family matters.

Being resourceful is being able to respond to situations rather than reacting to them. From a centered and calm place you are able to respond appropriately to the given situation. Given my reduced income, I could be reacting and worrying about finances and undertake a flurry of activity to rebuild clientele. Instead I choose to keep my focus on being fully present with the people I meet and connect with them in a meaningful way. I can trust myself to show up authentically and attract people who are seeking my services, rather than mold myself into something I think they are looking for. With this focus it is easier for me to hear what is going on for people and genuinely offer new possibilities or solutions.



Fixing versus Growing
You could look at Self Improvement as fixing what you don’t like about yourself. This perspective assumes that there is something in you that is broken. It is a perspective that comes from a place of being critical and judgemental. The primary judgement is: the way you are is not good enough. Often the question is not about being good enough, but with feeling unhappy or generally dissatisfied. If you ask yourself, “Am I feeling the way I want to feel?” and the answer is NO, then you may want to engage in self-discovery through personal development.

A more useful perspective is to come from a place of inspired growth instead of needing fixing. This involves setting an intention for how you would like to be as life unfolds and how you would like to feel.

My intention is to live enthusiastically, joyfully experiencing vitality, ease, wonder and meaningful connection with others. Spiritually present.

Life is an adventure and I undertake growth in a way that’s feels fun and do it with a sense of vibrancy. There is nothing wrong with me. However, by continuing to grow I have an opportunity to thrive and live the life I fully desire.

What is your intention for the life you desire?

Wishing you an inspired life! 

Lynne Brisdon, PCC, and Jacque Small, CEC
(collaborative authors of this monthly newsletter)

"And the day came when the risk of remaining tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "Anais Nin